Monday, March 23, 2009

Someone calibrate me, please!


Evaluating and being evaluated. I evaluate you and you evaluate me. If your evaluation does not match my evaluation then I must be evaluated. If I evaluate well I am promoted. If I do not evaluate well then I am given a second chance. That second chance is called a calibration. If I am calibrated then I have nothing to worry about. But, if I am not calibrated then I have to take a validation test. There are two outcomes to that specific validation. You can be successfully validated or unsuccessfully invalidated. If you are invalidated you are ousted from the project. You are sent to Devil's island to do hard labor (Read unemployment). But if you are successfully validated then you can start evaluating all over again. And so it goes.

We have achieved a true form of civilized living. I am being ironic, well maybe cynical. Though I hate to be cynical. You see I got a temporary job. I am grateful for it. But I am baffled at the level of supervision and total control of mind and body. You are being timed. You score papers for 7.0 hours. English compositions from 4th and 7th graders. Fair enough. You cannot talk to the person sitting next to you. The supervisor lets you know every hour on the hour what your percentages of accuracy and speed are. "Careful, your validations are running low. You are at 72.5%. And your speed is at 76%, so hurry up, don't think too much", that's my hourly labor lullaby. We humans are strange animals, I must say. Such a need for calibration and validation. I never knew Orwell's 1984 really existed. I am glad I have a job but the only way to get through this one is to laugh at the absurdity of it all. So, if any of you needs to be evaluated or validated let me know I have a place that's perfect for you.

13 comments:

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

oh my gosh...tick tock tick tock

Well, at least you can leave it behind at the end of the day, right?!

marc aurel said...

It was "double-think" in 1984, wasn't it? Like "Arbecht macht frei" above the gates at Auschwitz. Cetainly stupid work place tyrannies often arise when the blokes above us have too little power themselves.

willow said...

Well, at least I know that you evaluate and you know that I know you evaluate so you can be validated. Or something like that.

Cynthia said...

Howdy partner, so sorry you have to deal with that business. I do the same thing...four days 8-4 and also 3 days 8-4...It takes some getting used to...

I hope they give you plenty of coffee and snacks. You will get used to it...find your pace...know what is what soon.

It seems like they a factory timers...and you are the machine...that's the Orwell reference, I guess.

Take care, and remember you are a cowboy...one of a rare breed...no one can really cage your mind; it lives on the open praire. <3

Clare said...

teri, Marc, Willow and Cynthia all said it for me. All I have left to say is flipping heck I hope that you can go home and have a cup of tea/glass of beer/wine/whiskey or whatever floats your boat to make you refreshed for the next validation/evaluation/perplexation. I just made up perplexation and I like the sound of it.Take care,Clare

Raph G. Neckmann said...

There seems to be less and less place for individuality and creative thinking in those worlds of officialdom.

Whoopee for self-validation! Let off steam by doing a wild giraffe dance as soon as you get out of the building every day!

Lisa said...

micro management- groan xx

Sydney said...

First of all, let me validate your suffering, and by tenfold, your switch to humor to cope. Bravo.

Wow, I have never heard of a job like this. What is the title exactly? I will look back to see if you said what it is, but I don't remember. Correcting the tests of grad schoolers and you have to be timed as if you were a grades schooler taking the tests yourself?

Sydney said...

I went back and found that great post where you say what the job is in the paper where you found it.

doing test scores...

Then I reread this one, 4-7th graders.

I guess I'm confused. Why does a publishing co need to do this? Call me out of the loop but I'm thinking teachers give out and correct tests. So, you are doing this for a publishing co... why? I'm guessing because they need to use it for some kind of statistic? Or the co publishes the actual tests and want to know how effective they are, or what questions to modify?

No matter what I guess at, I can't understand why you need to be under such strict rules. Take pity on me and 'splain a little more please? If you can stand it?

Peggy said...

Thank goodness this Orwellian job is a temporary project. That will allow you to be thankful for it while knowing you are not doomed to calibration/validation cycles forever! I prefer the more positive validation anyway. Let's try this one: "Cowboy, you are great! You are really wonderful!" There, how did that feel?! :)

The Pink Cowboy said...

Teri- There is no post mortem analysis on this job. As soon as I am off my caged being is freed.

Marc- I think the name was Double-Speak. I will propose a sign "Es ist schlecht!!!

Willow- I would love to know how do you calibrate yourself on a daily basis?

Cynthia- You know exactly what I am talking about.

Clare- I'll have the beer, the whiskey, the tea and the wine all at once!

Mr. Neckmann- What a great suggestion. I am planning to go dressed up like a giraffe the last day of employment in this agency. I'll let you know.

Lisa- I think we are now down to nano-management.

Sydey darling I am scorer the nemesis of a committed teacher. I score following a complex rubric.

Peggy - you are sweetheart!

JBA said...

The admonition not to "over think" is really quite Orwellian! Scary!

If you ever need to be validated, let us know. We all love you lots!

The Pink Cowboy said...

JBA- I must post more admonitions. ;-)