Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Everything is Coming Up Noses

Three days ago I went into a local deli to have a sandwich. Quite ordinary. But I had stayed in my apartment for three day so I was more than thrilled to see so many people at once. I was about to start singing “People…, people who need people…” when my number was called up. It was number 433 if you’re interested in that kind of thing. I couldn't help but notice that the very affable guy who gave me my pastrami on rye sandwich had an extraordinary nose. It was very large and looked perfectly fine for his face. It made me think about noses in general. For some strange reason I can never distinguish between a Roman and a Greek nose. So as soon as I got home I did a little research on the Internet. The Greek nose is straight and the Roman nose looks like a hook. Then I stumbled upon a PDF of an early 20th century books that not only classifies types of noses but also gives you a psychological profile of its owner. So I learned about the Celestial nose (concave) and the Snub nose (short). The first belongs to the inquisitive and the latter to the mischievous. Total poppycock (I finally got a chance to write that funny word!), but entertaining poppycock (I did it again!) at that. I also got some literary information about the subject. There is a character in Laurence Stern’s Tristam Shandy who owned a personal library that included all the books that have been written on the subject of noses. I do not claim to have a literary nose. In fact I realized I am the proud owner of a hybrid nose. Not the green kind that runs on ethanol but a straight one that turns up slightly at the tip. That would make me an impertinent cheerful outgoing introspective man. Such are the revelations of my nose. So I very humbly ask my fellow bloggers: What type of nose do you own?