31 flavors of ice SCREAM

Some people drink, others smoke, I eat ice cream or rather ice SCREAM. As frustrating days go I had a top ten day today. It is all about a test called the EC-4. It must be some kind of cynical joke to call a trick ridden general examination test for teachers in Texas an EC-anything. It was tough, specially when half-way during the examination I discovered, well it was more of a revelation, that I was taking the wrong test. Let me restate. I WAS TAKING THE WRONG TEST. You see I had take a EC-4 test, so I went on-line and registered for it after paying $125. Today I found out there are two different EC-4 tests. To make matter more confusing I was offered a Bilingual Teaching position pending the passing of the EC-4 test. So I registered for the Bilingual EC-4 test. I think it makes perfect sense, but it doesn't make any sense for them (the school district) because I was suppose to take the Generalist EC-4 test. Nobody told me that, I'm fuming, I will have to take a new test and pay $125 again for the right test. So I'm boiling mad and am eating lots and lots of ice SCREAM, French Vanilla with caramel syrup to be exact. Tomorrow I am calling the parties involved in this most confusing situation to see if I can get credit for the wrong-test-I-didn't-study-for that I took this afternoon. I-could-just-hyphenate-myself-to-death-tonight. But dear Scarlett said it best-"Tomorrow is another day."

Waiting

It is Sunday and I am shaking like a leaf. Time flies so fast. How do you keep your bearings when you are unemployed? Each day is like a white sheet of paper in front of a novelist with a severe case of writer's block. A hot shower and soothing music would not do. You live on cents a day. Maybe a small coffee at the gas station for $0.75. Then you realize the day is only starting for you. 18 hours to take care of. You feel jumpy and anxious. Filling job applications on line. Downgrading yourself in order to fit a minimum wage job advertisement. And yet, I have days when I am very optimistic. I must say that I am wishing for a miracle. Yes, I am THAT human, that hopeful, that unrealistic. I understand that unemployment is basically a temporary situation. I've been there before. There are people far worse than me. I am no martyr in any way or form.

I refuse to watch the news. I do not trust them any more. They are feeding our panic our heartbreak. My heart goes out to all the families that are experiencing despair in these times.

Before I go to bed I make a list of all the things I am grateful for. I figure that if I cannot come up with a least one thing I am grateful for I must be dead and buried somewhere. This was my list last night.

I am thankful for:

1. My bed, I do not have to sleep on the floor.

2. My dachsie Pretzel, he gives me unconditional Love and likes to sneak behind me a lick my ears to make me laugh.

3. My legs, I can stand up, walk and dance without having to pay a single cent.

4. My brother, he has let me in in his apartment.

5. This blog, I never felt so connected to people around the world, it's a sheer joy to me.

6. My books, I can go to places where treasures are hidden and where characters welcome you like a long lost friend.

7. My eyes, I can see colors, patterns, textures, speed, radiance, trees, flowers, people's faces.

8. My teachers, old, young, American, Tibetan, Spanish, French, Committed, Mystical, Empowering, Enthusiastic, Wise, Courageous.

9. Friendship- I have longtime friends and friends that I have never seen. So nurturing and kind.

10. Love, so much out there and in here. Love is THE ADVENTURE, THE REWARD, THE PURPOSE.

photo by petit hiboux at Flikr.

N is for Nincompoop

I've been tagged by Life at Willow Manor to select a letter from the alphabet and write about it. I wanted to write about my beloved Spanish letter Ñ, but this blog is in English. So N will do, besides N is a wonderful letter specially when written the wrong way by children.
The letter N is the 14th letter of the English alphabet. It is believed to have developed from a snake hieroglyphic used by the Egyptians. Not long afterwards the Phoenicians adopted the letter into their alphabet. The Hebrews and the Greek followed suit. N represents the alveolar nasal sound in human speech. Only a handful of languages on earth lack this sound. It is the perfect letter to take to the Nth degree, obviously:

Nincompoop- a silly, foolish and useless person.

Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Them Goodbye- According to Wikipedia is a song that is often chanted by fans near the end of a contest to signify that victory is all but assured.
Nitroglycerin- a colorless, oily, explosive liquid.
Navratilova- Last name of a famous woman tennis player.
Nanotechnology- According to many the longest word starting with N.
Na Nu Na Nu- Alien greeting (Mork & Mindy TV series)

N in sign language




Nantucket

Narnia

the Nanny

I'm staying on the Pink Motel tonight

Thank you all for your great support. I've managed to calm my nerves since. Not easy. My whole blog life vanished for 25 minutes before my eyes. It was through divine intervention that I could recover my blog. It seemed so easy to do. I visited four different websites on the matter. They all said it was sooooo simple. Right!!!! I carefully selected a beautiful vintage seamless pattern, it was going to be a quantum leap forward for my blog. It would look like a textured brocade reminiscent of old Victorian manors. All they said was- "Go to your Edit HTML tab, look for the word "body" and copy the web address inside brackets." Oh, I was so confident, My blog is gonna look purrtty, I reckon!!! I see so many beautifully designed blogs out there, you can smell the fresh lavender and get partially blinded by their evocative mist. But now I've been challenged, now I do declare I'm going to learn how to do it if it kills me. I'm ambitious in that very small way. I like the idea of creating a dummyblog, I shall call it The Maladroit Review, I also plan to have a header where the cowboy falls from the horse in slow motion amidst pink fireworks in the background, I swear I might do it. So tonight I'm staying outside the Rancho and into the Pink Motel if only to escape all the turmoil I have inflicted on my festive permanent residents. I must add, I had a nightmare last night where I met an unfriendly crowd in a honky tonk saloon. They all yelled-"Edit HTML" in unison. More chocolate, please!

Baggy Britches, the .22 caliber long rifle carrying clown reminds you: "Never give up!!!

OMG! I Almost Erased My Whole Blog Kind Of Day.

Could anybody out there direct me to a good idiot-proof guide to changing your blog background and header? I was trying to add texture and design to this my most beloved blog. I tried to do it using the Edit HTML tab, then I erased everything. After 40 minutes of pure agony I managed to retrieve a saved template. I almost ate a whole box of chocolate to deal with the anxiety attack. I manage my nerves using chocolate. So, beloved followers and visitors, would you be darlings and help this poor soul?

PS. Thank You Lucy for being there for me.

Superior Scribbler Award. Who, me?

I was very surprised to be given the Superior Scribbler Award from larkspur of the Garden Mother blog. The award originated, as many of you already know, in the Scholastic-scribe blog. I felt truly elated. English is not my first language. I really started to speak English on a daily basis at age 17. So I was thrilled to be recognized with such a bloggy distinction. I started blogging last September and it has been very rewarding. I now connect with wonderful people all over the world on a daily basis. My mindgate is now open. My writing is becoming more adventurous. But above all, I enjoy reading your comments. You are all very gracious and very supportive.

It is truly a bloggy community. Thanks.

I must now follow the rules given after accepting this distinction. I must post the rules pertaining the award and offer it to 5 blogs I find particularly interesting and wonderful. There are many fantastic blogs that I read on a daily basis that have gotten the award already. So I am passing on the award to much better scribblers than me that deserve the recognition. If you guys accept the award you must follow the rules and show the award in your blog page. I hereby present the award to:

Oasis Writing Link- Cynthia is such a generous spirit. Her house up in the mountains of central Puerto Rico offers the unique backdrop of a rain forest. Her memories of childhood in Michigan are full of insight. Her love for Caribbean literature is evident as she is making many contributions to the field as a university professor.

sweetmango- She has a superb picture as a blog header: powerful and vibrant. When you visit this blog you feel connected very fast, your spirit soars. I gather that she is very committed to living responsibly in this one planet we all share. I feel sheltered when I go there.

M.IV- Clay is an artist in the full sense of the word. His graphic acumen is palpable from your very first visit to the blog. He is a raconteur. He knows how to tell a good story. I revel in his art. I keep coming back every day.

Ngorobob House: Life from the Hill- From what I read in this post I can conclude that Janelle is an indomitable and adventurous spirit. She lives in Tanzania, under African skies every day. What good fortune.

Bachelor at Wellington- I like this classy blogger. You can perceive a rare and peaceful inner sensibility in his writings. He would definitely be a great guy to have tea with and a great conversation on art, film and music.

RULES:

You must pass along this award to five (5) others who I have found to be thoughtful, creative, and most importantly, entertaining. ;

1. Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends. 2. Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

3. Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to Scholastic-Scribe, which explains The Award.

4. Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receive

this Prestigious Honor.

5. Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Centered in Uncertainty

I was feeling a bit anxious today. When you are unemployed you live in a different time zone. Life little structures and routines are all gone. You are on your own and you must keep yourself centered (... if not entertained) in order to maintain your sanity. I must say that I do have the support of friends and family. I do not feel isolated but I could very easily fall into that trap on account that I am living in a different time sequence from the rest. This afternoon I took a long walk with Pretzel, my dachsie, and thought about my anxiety. At this very moment there is nothing I can do but to calm my nerves. And that I intend to do. It is not easy at all because I do have goals and dreams I want to fulfill and I do not want to postpone them indefinitely. So calming down is priority number one. In times like these I draw from my spiritual experiences and realizations. I am a spiritual mutt if there is ever one. I was raised by deeply religious Catholic grandparents, an atheist dad and a non practicing Catholic mother. I went to Catholic school all my life. Then I got into the New Age movement of the 80’s. In the early 90’s I went back to Catholicism (I realized later that it was a hunger for cultural identity rather than true conviction) and then into Tibetan Buddhism, only to be a free spiritual agent today. Excuse me, but I must laugh at myself if only tenderly. All these religious and philosophical disciplines have helped construct what I am today and I am grateful. Today I felt I had to have a serious talk with myself and establish a set of principles that would make my life easier and more enjoyable. To understand that there is no hurry in life, that I have nothing to prove, that it is reasonable to still cry everyday over the death of my mother 8 months ago, that it’s okay to have blind faith in finding appropriate employment, that it’s okay to keep dreaming of a better life. I have been reading a beautiful book by Marianne Williamson that has inspired me lately to ask for miracles in my life. And that I am doing today, surrendering to a higher energy capable of restoring my vitality. In the meantime more tea, more books and more cookies! I am grateful to all the visitors I have had recently, you keep my spirits up.

TPC- Q&A Interview by Oasis Writing Link

I was contacted by Oasis Writing Link to be interviewed as a blogger. Faced with these very interesting questions I decided to borrow my brother’s car and head to the placid whereabouts of the newly opened Valley Ranch library in Irving. There I stood in front of a big picture window facing a canal lined up with little houses screaming “this is a Kodak moment.” I ignored the visual intrusion and proceeded to answer the questions.

1. If you could be a historical character from actual life or from a book, who would you be and why? What would you do as this person?

This one was a difficult one to answer. My mind began spinning like a Ghandian charka weaving an endless homespun garment. I thought of giants like Martin Luther King, Harvey Milk, Abraham Lincoln,the Buddha, Christ, Dame Judi Dench (OK, OK, I had to mention her, she is so good!!!). I admire many different people in history for their sacrifice and heroism but one rather little character came running back to me every time I pursued and answer: Frodo, the hobbit from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings Trilogy. He was not fearless; he did not possess the physical prowess to endure such gargantuan travail as to destroy evil in the form of monsters, sorcerers and deceitful creatures (Not that different from our normal mortal lives.) Yet his love, tenacity and sense of duty made him a transcendental figure in his world. If I had his committed faith and determination I would champion the fight against injustice and inequality.

2. What is the most important decision you've made in your life and why?

I did not know it at the time but the most significant decision I have ever made was to go to college in upstate New York. It literally opened my eyes. I not only developed intellectually but also was exposed to different people from all over the world. My insatiable quest for knowledge and understanding began right there in the inclement winter weather of Syracuse. I remember one very cold December evening in Neo-Romanesque Crouse College Auditorium. I went to see I Musici perform The Four Seasons by Antonio Vivaldi (1678-1741). I had a mystical experience then. I saw the banquet of life unfold itself before my eyes. I found my sun far away from the tropics where I was born. I found my sun in the winter of a northern latitude and it has been a wondrous journey ever since...


3. Select two photographs that have made a significant impact on you and explain what their importance is in your life.

Martha Graham: Letter to the World (Kick), 1940

Barbara Morgan, photographer

Dance is the transformation of the human form into the plausible. In this photo Martha Graham exemplify such notion. She becomes a half-moon, an unfolding white rosebud, an avatar of human motion, a determined love arrow thrown by a forceful and intrepid cupid.

Bathing Suits for Izod,

George Hoyningen-Huene, photographer

An understated elegance in a heroic pose. Looking beyond the context of their own time and place into the vast unknown. Adam and Eve full of expectation and desire, happy to be out of that drab and boring Eden.

4. You have lived in at least two different cultures; explain how this experience influences how you see the world, both personally and politically?

I am a Blue-eyed Caribbean Latin American of European ancestry who is a citizen of the United States of America. At home in Puerto Rico I was considered a blanquito or americanito (white or American- like boy) a totally different species from the rest. Back in college I was regarded as a foreigner. So I suppose I always felt like an outsider; more romantically put, an émigré. A person that does not belongs fully anywhere. I had the rare opportunity to go inside both cultures because at the end of the day I could pass for either nationality. That made me notice and contrast both cultures. We are not that different at all. Right now I feel very comfortable with my background, in fact I think is an asset to be multicultural.

5. A hundred (plus) years from now, someone finds something of significance that you left behind. What is it and why is it significant?

I hope that anything I did, said, or depicted in music and photography moved anyone to embrace the reality that Love is our true nature.